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"Get Grandpa Off The Thunder Mug"

By John Richard Jackson, writing as "Thundermug"

Heads up: Racial Stereotyping

John Richard Jackson published this third collection of humorous stories in 1994, the copyright date printed in the book. Prepared by B & B Printers of Gunnison, it is reproduced here, in sections, exactly as John wrote it, with his sister's blessing as his sole heir.

What follows is reproduced in John's own words, exactly as he wrote them: nothing edited, softened, or left out. It carries the same broad, joking, tall-tale narrator he uses throughout "Please Go to Hell" and his other books, a folksy small-town-goofball persona that was a deliberate comic choice, not a reflection of how he actually wrote or spoke. One story in Chapter I turns on a boyhood nickname that is a racial slur; the book prints it without explanation and it is kept as printed, in the story's title and text, because changing it would misrepresent what John wrote. The scans were read twice by machine and the doubtful words checked against the page images. Where a slip appears below, it is a slip in the printed book itself, and it has been kept as printed. Numbers in parentheses are the book's own printed page numbers.

The cover prints the title as two words, "Thunder Mug," with the subtitle "The Preacher's Comin'"; the book's running text and its table of contents print it as one, "Thundermug." Both are kept as printed. The Introduction calls this "the third publication," after "Once Around the Thunder Mug" and "Who Upset the Thundermug."

Contents

The book's own front matter, in full below:

The book's six chapters follow the table of contents as printed. The book gives its chapters numbers only, and lists the stories inside each one. Four story titles below differ slightly from how the story is headed in the body of the book; the contents wording is given here and the link goes to the body heading, noted at each story.

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Front cover of "Get Grandpa Off The Thunder Mug" by John Jackson: a red and white title block reading GET GRANDPA OFF THE THUNDER MUG, THE PREACHER'S COMIN', by John Jackson, above a pen-and-ink cutaway drawing of a two-story wooden house colored with a few red accents. Upstairs a man sits on a chamber pot, a child stands on the stairs, and downstairs a woman with a broom looks up, while a hatted man carrying a book approaches on the path outside.
Front cover: "Get Grandpa Off The Thunder Mug," "The Preacher's Comin'," by John Jackson.
Black-and-white pen-and-ink drawing, printed inside the front cover, of the same cutaway two-story house: a man on a chamber pot upstairs, a child on the stairs, a woman with a broom below, and a hatted man with a book approaching outside.
Front Cover Illustration by Karl Nicholason

We thought it such a sacrilege
that Grandpa had the privilege
to lift his tail and thunder left or right
while his wide eyed little heirs
had to tiptoe down the stairs
and softly vent their product in the night

That's a tuba or a French horn
loved the sound since I was born
Reverend Leonard hummed a ditty toward the sky
but his nostrils started twitchin'
when he entered Grandma's kitchen
and our Grandpa let another flatus fly

"Grandpa Hits the Low Notes," printed on the page inside the front cover with the illustration and its credit. The book gives no surname for the "Reverend Leonard" of the poem, and nothing here ties him to Heinie "Adorable Jones" Leonard of "Thundermug for President," later in this book.

Title page of "Get Grandpa Off The Thunder Mug" by John Jackson, with a handwritten inscription in blue-black ink across the lower half of the page.
Title page, with a handwritten inscription in the copy that was scanned.

The inscription reads: "To Lucky & Polly, and another embarrassment for you to suffer but bear with us — surely someone will put a stop to such slander. Luvya, Inie, Skeeter & Thundermug." "Polly" is John's sister Pauline Roberta Jackson Bates, and "Lucky" is her husband, per family knowledge, named in "Holly's Lucky" in Chapter II of this book. "Inie" is the spelling of Inez's nickname John uses throughout "Echoes from the Thundermug."

Prepared by B & B Printers, Gunnison, Inc., Gunnison, Colorado.

Copyright © 1994 by John Jackson. All rights reserved.

Six handwritten first-name signatures in different hands on the copyright page, one followed by a small drawn smiley face.
Signatures on the copyright page.

Six first names are signed under the copyright line, read here as approximately Dan or Don, Rebecca, Eric or Emil, Anita or Juanita, Jim, and Shonda (the last followed by a small drawn smiley face). The book does not say who they are; they are presumably B & B Printers staff, not John's family or friends, and are not indexed on this site on that assumption.

Black-and-white class photograph of twenty-four children and teenagers posed outdoors in winter coats, in four rows.
"Lookout World Here We Come"

The Classrooms were cold and the teachers were stern
for "the depression kids" determined to learn
of people and places far from our town
of sentences built with participle and noun
of history and science, of math and hygiene
and wonders of nature, yet to be seen
our numbers have swindled and who will remember
the twenty-four students who posed that December

Printed rosters, left to right: top row, Jo Ann Comstock, Harold Hawkins, Neil Walker, Bob Oates, Jim Barber, Charles Church, Jim Comstock and Goldie Woodruff; second row, Arlene Filley, Cherie Larson, Barney Fairchild, Jim Mason and Billy Filley; third row, David Manning, Bob Snow, Lee Davis, Scooter Jackson and Donald Powell; seated, Marjorie Birdsey, Betty Powell, Genevieve Sullivan, Charlotte Lane, Mary L. Johnson and Phyllis Alspaugh. "Scooter Jackson" is William Charles Jackson, John's brother. The book gives no other identification for Goldie Woodruff, and nothing here ties her to the Woodruff family this site documents.

Acknowledgements

This is the hardest page in the publication to write. What it boils down to is, "Who in the Hell am I going to embarrass this time." I'd like to include my Texas friends, the Britains, Johnsons, McDonoughs, Stutzmans, Garrisons and Thompsons, but they are all good shots and I'm a sitting duck on this side of the valley. They are proud, patriotic, hard workers and friendly. That's a combination you can't beat with a stick and they appreciate humor. Just how much humor is the question that concerns me.

Clarence "Frosty" Snow led me astray a couple of times and deserves to be embarrassed, Everette Wyatt engaged me in a drinking match in 1947 that left us both in deep trouble. Everette married Jackie Moore, my girlfriend in the '30s, and she wasn't pleased at his condition after we bid each other goodnight. Darn it all, Jackie, I was just as sick.

The names of those who deserve to be embarrassed are just too lengthy for this page. Perhaps Genevieve Sullivan, Cherie Larson, Emma Mae Wilson, Charlotte Lane, Mary Johnson, Edna Ruth Van Aken, Ralph Snow and Bernard Shaw will forgive me. They were students of Professor E. D. Watson who is included in one of the stories. Maybe they will remember that he was an excellent teacher and drove his rag tag ball team to valley towns at his own expense.

The most appropriate acknowledgement with little fear of consequence would be to thank Nicholas C. Creede, the intrepid prospector who braved the elements and untold hardship of a harsh environment to discover the "Holy Moses" silver mine which led to one of the richest mining districts in the State of Colorado and brought our Grandfathers and Grandmothers to a tent city that would later bear the name "Creede."

Thank you, Nicholas C. Creede. Without you we might have been raising tobacco in North Carolina or switching rail-cars in Chicago. Your knowledge and fortitude made it possible for us to be raised in the finest environment and among the finest of people.

"Once Around the Thunder Mug" and "Who Upset the Thundermug" both close their own front matter with the same thanks to Nicholas C. Creede; see that page. E. D. Watson is the school superintendent of "Bearly Heroes", below.

Black-and-white photograph of two barefoot boys in overalls, one holding a stringer of fish and the other a woven fishing creel.
"Yeah, but you should have seen the ones that got away!"

Foreword

There was a reason for publishing the Thundermug stories, but I can't remember whether it was vanity or the hope for monetary reward. In all probability sleepless nights and long winters aided and abetted the crime.

This effort should be the last. I am beginning to believe the stories and if I am foolish enough to believe them, most assuredly, others will follow suit. That could create problems I am not prepared to handle.

There are a lot of humorous stories locked up in the memories of people who are reluctant to write due to fear of embarrassment or ridicule. I nearly trashed the first manuscript thinking I was doing nothing but making a darned fool of myself. I did make a darned fool of myself, but I sort of liked the attention. For the bulk of my life I tried to maintain a posture that would be compatible with society and receive approval of my relatives. All that time there was a darned fool, just under the skin, waiting to emerge and be recognized.

It will have been worth all the inner turmoil, time and effort, if the Thundermug books provide one or more of you, out there, to think... "Hey, if that crazy old Jackson can get his stories published, maybe I can too." And you can!

In this era of high technology where our colleges are cranking out professionals faster than the government can make room for them there is a whole new frontier opening up for darned fools. The line forms to the write.

"This effort should be the last" did not hold: a fourth book, "Third Stool from the Rear," and a fifth, "Hell Cats And She Ghosts," followed. See John's page for the full list of his books.

Black-and-white photograph of a children's marching band posed outdoors in uniform, a conductor at the front with his baton raised.
The Creede Schools Band, 1934.

Caption, in full: "The year was 1934 and director Thomas Drysdale led his award winning Creede Schools Band in a rousing 'Happy Birthday' to Senator Lawrence Phipps followed by a selection of marches. The young lady under Mr. Drysdale's baton is Margaret McCrone (Lamb). To her right Bob Manning plays the flute, to his right Raymond Lane, Mary Slaght and Eleanor Johnson (Lehman) play saxophones. The highlight of the early Depression years was the annual birthday party for our Senator at his La Garita Ranch, 7 miles southeast of Creede. The entire town was invited to share in the event which included foot races and baseball games in addition to the stirring band music. There were tubs filled with ice and Nehi soda and food to fill the bellies of all who attended. After the festivities cars could be seen stopped on the roadway from the ranch to Creede so little shavers could relieve themselves. Band members not identified were: Tommy Drysdale, Ivan Van Aken, Charles Slaght, Edna Cossitt, Dorothy Workman, Rusty Ainsworth, Jimmy Workman, Irma Slaght, Jimmy Burkholder, Raymond Ball, Billy Matzen, Gordon Duncan, Alyce Turnipseed, Clinton Fairchild, Tommy Nance, Arlene Filley, Jimmy Barber, Frankie Davis, Joey Jackson, Bruce Barksdale, May Birdsey, Cloy Duncan and Arthur Weaver." "Frankie Davis" is Frank Davis's son, John's first cousin, per family knowledge.

Introduction

The "Great Depression" of the 1930s was a rough period, anyone who lived through it will agree to that, but it was a grand era of humor and humorists. People of all races and creeds could laugh at each other without feeling guilty or offended because they were all in the same boat. For many, a good sense of humor was all that pulled them through daily agonies and frustrations as they worked at any job available and tried to feed their families on very meager incomes.

The near tragic is often the most humorous. Like the time my Father lost his footing as we were re-shingling the roof of his house. He clipped the catwalk with his toes which vaulted him into space, backwards. I thought for two or three seconds he would be the first human to fly without mechanical help as his arms flailed like windmills in a vain effort to defy the law of gravity. I was still on the roof but I could see his stunned frame trying to recover and his shattered glasses resting nearby. He was alive. I began laughing, more in relief than anything else. "Laugh, you damned idiot" he moaned, "you'd laugh if it had killed me." I still laugh when I think about it and had it killed him it would have been a more merciful death than his bout with lung cancer that destroyed him, inch by inch, a decade later.

The real humor, the humor that sticks with us, is an event or circumstance we can relate to that tickles us where we need it be tickled. It is something that rests in our memories like hot embers in a camp fire. All we need do is fan them a little to feel the warmth.

The following stories were not designed to carry a plot or create characters. They are dredgings from The Thundermug as well as other stories that were not included in the weekly column for various reasons. Many of the stories were told to me and I accepted them to be basically true. Other stories are part and parcel of my misspent life. We hope you will find part or parts you can relate to, that will bring you a measure of the enjoyment we have had in bringing them to you.

After the second publication (Who Upset the Thundermug) I was warned that I was being too harsh with our female counter parts which would invoke the wrath of feminist activists. I wasn't aware that such a group could read and hadn't considered I was in peril.

I am reminded of a gathering in the Congregational Church Parsonage many years ago. It was a friendly group discussing topics of the day under the direction of our Reverend Mary Grubbs. As the meeting was nearing an end Reverend Mary stated, "In truth, there is little difference between man and woman." My old and faithful friend, Charles Steele, instantly replied, "Praise the Lord for that small difference."

God bless you, dear ladies, but let us always remember that there is a difference between man and woman and the destiny of all mankind depends on that difference.

John names no brother here and gives no date for the roof fall. "Echoes from the Thundermug" gives his father's death as 1957; "a decade later" would place the fall in the late 1940s, but the book gives no other date and the passage is kept exactly as printed, as an inference only. This is the first appearance in these books of the phrase "the second publication," which is how John describes "Who Upset the Thundermug" here.

Black-and-white photograph of a man in a hat holding a trophy cup aloft with one hand and drinking from a glass with the other, flanked by two other men, one watching and one laughing.
Slim Wins the Whiskey Drinking Contest

Caption, in full: "Slim Earle (Holding trophy) Al Hibbs (rear) Charter Members 'Creede Running Crew'... and Noel 'Bo' Roberts (right)." This is probably the same "Running Crew" of Elmo, Slim, Al and Bryan in "Jigaboo Bowels Out" and "Strung Out to String Up," Chapter I, below, though the stories give only first names.